


Basking in his Presence

by onihunter305



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Budding Love, Comforting Magnus Bane, First Date, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Malec, Season 2 Episode 05, Season 2 Episode 06, Season 2 Episode 09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 05:37:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9977594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onihunter305/pseuds/onihunter305
Summary: Alec could pinpoint the moment that the change occurred. The moment he felt calmer in Magnus’ presence than anyone else’s. He knew it was happening, he had no intention of stopping, he just prayed it would last.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This entire story is based on a promo photo that Shadowhunters posted on Instagram of Alec standing behind Magnus as he examined Clary's hand. He is basically plastered to his back in front of Jace and Clary so my mind went to the sequence of events that would have placed him in that position.
> 
> Essentially this story starts in episode 5 and goes from there, highlighting the development of Alec's feelings for Magnus and how he become comfortable in his presence.

If anyone dared to ask, Alec could pinpoint the moment in his and Magnus’ relationship where he felt completely and utterly calm in the older man presence. 

He had been sitting on the fire escape, after having run from the Institute, after running from Jace. He sat there, staring at his hand which was still injured from thrusting into Jocelyn’s chest and then subsequently fighting with Izzy. The solid ground on which he had stood for so long had been ripped out from under him. His whole life he trained to be the perfect soldier. He was obedient, he trained non-stop, he did everything the Clave asked of him. And yet, a demon got inside his head and used his body to murder Jocelyn. 

He felt betrayed by his body, the body he had trained to perfection. And worse, no one seemed to blame him. Everyone asked him if he was okay, people wanted to tend to his wounds, they wanted to make sure he was handling everything after the possession. Jace didn’t blame him. And worst of all, Clary didn’t blame him. She tried to comfort him, she told him it was okay. How could she do that? They had just suffered through hell bringing her back, and Alec had snuffed out her life in an instance. 

He felt as is there was nothing left in his life that he knew to be true. He felt completely and utterly lost, rubbing his injured hand mindlessly.

And there was Magnus. Silently supporting him from a safe distance on the balcony. He didn’t approach Alec, he didn’t offer any kind words, and he didn’t expect Alec to act or react in any way. 

Finally it was Alec who broke the silence, “I can’t be in the Institute.”

For a moment Magnus didn’t say anything but Alec could see the pity in his eyes, how he felt sorry for him, what what ‘he was going through.’ Alec hated it, he wasn’t going through anything. Clary, and Jace, they were going through the loss of their mother.

“Alec…” Magnus eventually said.

“Heard you turned in Camille,” Alec cut him off, not wanting this conversation to continue in the way he knew it was bound to. “How’d that go?”

“Honestly,” Magnus said feeling a well of emotions rise within him but continuing because he knew Alec needed the focus to be off of him for this moment, “It was awful. We had a lot of history, she and I.” And then he realized that Alec probably didn’t want to hear about his sordid history with his ex. “Sorry is that’s weird.”

“It’s not weird,” Alec cut him off again. Magnus could see how he was massaging his hand and when he looked closer it was clear that Alec had refused to be healed. “You say what you think,” Alec continued but this time it was Magnus’ turn to cut him off.

“Too busy to use a healing rune?” He asked, referencing his injured and cradled hand. 

“I’m fine,” Alex insisted, the double meaning not sitting well with Magnus. He knew Alec was far from fine, both emotionally and physically. 

“No, you’re not,” Magnus countered, hating the haunted look that crossed the Shadowhunter’s face. He held back tears as he watched the man he was growing to care very much for, shut himself away in an unhealthy place. “You’re hurting, badly,” Magnus continued, “You hope the pain here,” he gestured to the injured hand, “will overpower the pain there,” he pointed to his heart. “I wish it were that simple,” he admitted, thinking back to all of the heartache he had throughout his many years. 

“I let a demon in Magnus,” Alec countered, as if that meant he deserved the pain. As if they excused him running around all of New York injured, unable to even properly fire his bow. Leaving him vulnerable. 

“That wasn’t your fault,” Magnus said, repeating what countless others had already tried.

“I don’t know what to say to Clary,” Alec shot back. “I can’t face her.”

“But you will,” Magnus reassured him, his tone soft and gentle. Alec felt drawn to it, as if there was something within his tone of voice, or something within his very being, that could help take away some of the pain and shame he was feeling. He leaned forward, as if being closer to Magnus would somehow help as he continued to speak, “Because that’s what you do Alexander. It might take you a minute but I’ve seen it up close. I went to your wedding. You’ll blow up the very ground you stand on, to make something right.”

When their eyes met Magnus could see the glassiness that alluded to tears forming in the stoic Shadowhunter’s eyes, they mirrored his own emotion filled ones. He wanted to lift his pain, he wasn’t hm to be alright. 

“Come inside Alexander, have a drink, relax,” Magnus implored, not wanting the fragile younger man out of his sight, especially in his current state. 

Alec didn’t say anything, he silently pushed himself off the fire escape and into Magnus’ personal space. The shorter man gently placed his hand on Alec’s lower back to lead him gently into his loft. Alec felt warmth slowly spread throughout his body, originating from the place in which Magnus’ hand rested. 

Together they walked into the loft, where Magnus led them to his lush couch. He gently pushed Alec down to sit and went about making two quick drinks. Walking back, Magnus made sure to hand Alec his drink to his uninjured hand. Alec cradled it between his hands, his eyes locked into it’s amber color without any expression on his face. Magnus took his seat next to Alec, close enough for their thighs to touch. Alec’s eyes were drawn to the point in which their bodies touched. He could, once again, feel the comfort and warmth radiating from Magnus. Alec felt a peace he hadn’t felt in a very long time. 

“Alexander, I know things have not been easy for you lately, hell they probably have never been easy for you,” Magnus started, his voice soft as he eluded to the fact that Alec’s sexuality weighed heavily on his happiness for a long time. 

“I just,” Alec began, thinking of how he could defend himself even though no defense was needed.

“No Alexander, your whole life you’ve been taking care of others. Your siblings clearly rely heavily on you as they live their lives to the fullest, your parents have pushed you to be their perfect little soldier to try and fix the family name that they tarnished with their own actions, and the clave has expected you to keep the New York Institute working like clockwork without providing you the resources and rewards you deserve. I would like you to just…just take some time for yourself,” Magnus pleaded, reaching over and taking Alec’s untouched glass out of his hand and placing it on the coffee table in front of them. He reached out and gently took both of his hands within his own. He could feel Alec tense at the intimate contact he initiated but he couldn’t pull back now. 

“I don’t know if I can,” Alec admitted sadly, his eyes locked on their interlaced fingers.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Magnus agreed sadly, “But when you are here, with me, you can try.”

Alec’s eyes met Magnus’ and he inhaled sharply at the emotion he saw swirling behind his glamour. He didn’t say anything, he just nodded.

“To start, my dear Alexander, would you allow me to heal your hand?” Magnus asked. He had been itching to do so as soon as he realized he was still injured but he would never have healed Alec without his permission. 

Again, Alec couldn’t find the words, so he just nodded his acceptance.

Magnus smiled at him as warmth burst from their joined hands and blue wisps encircled Alec’s injury. Alec felt his whole body come alive with the sensation and for a moment he wondered if Magnus was trying to heal more than his hand. He felt happiness he hadn’t felt in a very long time flood throughout his body, his eyes closed and he slumped forward.

Magnus could feel Alec’s whole body relax as he healed his hand. He leaned in, allowing their foreheads to touch, both basking in the feeling they were sharing. 

Alec was overwhelmed. He felt so safe and loved at that very moment. He didn’t know he could feel this way, he didn’t know he deserved this kind of happiness. If this was how it felt to hold Magnus’ hand, to be in his presence, Alec didn’t know if he ever wanted to leave.

~*~

Days later Magnus was worried once again. He knew that he and Alec had left things on good terms the night he healed his hand. Alec had relaxed and slept, tucked in close to Magnus, for hours until he had to return to the Institute for the night. Since then, Alec had been very difficult to get in touch with. Magnus resorted to dirty tricks to get the man in his presence once more.

Sending Alec an urgent fire message was probably not the most appropriate way to get the young Shadowhunter to his loft but his calls and texts were being ignored so he felt he had no other option. 

When Alec burst into his apartment, not even bothering to knock, Magnus immediate felt regret for the anxiety he must have caused him. 

“Magnus I got your fire message,” Alec started, looking around for danger or disaster. Magnus’ heart clinched tightly at the fear in his voice.

Immediately he went about soothing Alec’s fears and assuring him that everything was alright, well everything but himself. As soon as Alec alluded to the fact that Magnus was okay so he should leave, Magnus retorted with that fact that he wasn’t okay because Alec wasn’t okay. That seemed to get the other mans attention. Alec tried to argue that during times of war, people were supposed to sacrifice themselves which Magnus vehemently argued against. 

“If you fail to grant time for the things you care about, you’ll forget why you’re even fighting at all,” Magnus reasoned.

Alec wanted to continue to defend his actions and reactions, but Magnus had moved in close and already Alec could feel his anxieties draining from his body. He could smell Magnus’ distinct Sandalwood shampoo and his shoulder’s slumped as the fight left him. “Alright, what do you have in mind.”

Magnus smiled at the small excitement he could hear in Alec’s voice. He could tell that, although he was apprehensive, Alec wanted to spend time with him. 

Alec couldn’t help but smile slightly, seeing Magnus’ happiness at something he did, delighted him. 

“How about drinks?” Magnus suggested with a smile. He could tell Alec wasn’t sold on the idea from the face he made as soon as he heard it but eventually the younger man nodded. “Wonderful, I suggest the Hunter’s Moon, they cater to Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike and I happen to know the bartender that’s on tonight.”

Alec didn’t want to tell Magnus he wasn’t much of a drinker, mainly because he didn’t know of anything else to suggest in it’s place, so he found himself agreeing to meet Magnus there later that night.

“Perfect, I look forward to it,” Magnus said, stepping close to Alec. For a moment Alec thought Magnus was going to kiss him and his heart rate skyrocketed. His whole body shut down and he felt as if he was floating. 

Magnus could tell Alec was anticipating him to close the distance between their lips and he reluctantly turned his head to kiss Alec on the cheek. As much as he wanted to kiss him tenderly, to make him forget the crap that Valentine had unleashed on the world, he wanted it to be on Alec’s terms. He could wait until the Shadowhunter was ready to initiate it himself once more. 

“Until tonight Alexander,” He whispered as he pulled back. Alec wanted to chase the feeling Magnus’ instilled within him, he wanted to wrap himself in it. 

“I’ll…uh….I’ll see you then,” Alec stuttered out. He smiled at Magnus before leaving the apartment. As soon as the door closed behind him he felt coldness seep through the coat he was wearing. It wasn’t from any environmental factors, it was solely due to the fact that he was no longer in Magnus’ presence. He found himself longing for the night to come quicker.

~*~

Alec shifted uncomfortably as she stood outside the Hunter’s Moon, waiting for Magnus. This definitely was not a place he would ever venture to visit on his own. Int he five minutes he had been waiting outside he had seen vampires, seelies, and two werewolves enter along with a few mundanes. It wasn’t that Alec held their Downworlder status against them, but he was very uncomfortable being surrounded by them without any backup.

Just as he was about to walk away, call Magnus and reschedule for another time, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Sorry to keep you waiting Alexander, but beauty does not come quickly for some of us,” Magnus said fairly, smirking devilishly at Alec as he said so. 

“Oh…well, it’s fine. I wasn’t waiting long. And you like… nice,” Alec said, trying to decide what would be an appropriate complement for the man who literally took his breath away. Magnus smiled at the statement, even if it wasn’t necessarily the complement he was going for, he knew Alec was new to all of this. 

“Why thank you, and you look quiet handsome as well,” Magnus replied. Alec couldn’t help the smile that came to his face. He had put effort into his attire for the night, purposefully picking an outfit that Izzy had purchased for him on one of her many shopping extravaganzas. He also felt all anxiety that had previously overwhelmed his body over his current location leave as Magnus moved towards him to usher him into the bar.

Once inside Alec was surprised by the lack of looks they received. He thought the patrons of the bar would stare at them as he believed they made an odd couple. It couldn’t be everyday that the Downworlders saw a warlock and a Shadowhunter spending time together. 

“I’ll get us some drinks, any preference?” Magnus asked, refocusing Alec, who had let his mind wander as he took in the rest of the crowd.

“Beer?” Alec responded, he had no idea what he would actually like to drink but Jace normally ordered either beer or shots when they went out and he didn’t think he would be able to handle shots at this time. 

Magnus could tell that Alec wasn’t much of a drinker from his vague response and decided to let the bartender earn her tip by suggesting something for his date. 

Alec had been standing by a table when Magnus left to get them their first round of drinks, unsure if he was supposed to save the table of if they were going to sit at the bar. After a moment of standing there, feeling terribly out of place, he found himself gravitating towards where Magnus soot, casually leaning against the bar. 

If Magnus was surprised by Alec’s move he didn’t let it show as he handed over Alec’s beer and made a motion to cheer.

“I’m not much of a beer drinker, but my bartender friend swears by this IPA,” he commented as he handed the beer over.

“Well I’m not much of a drinker…period, but I’ll take her word for it,” Alec responded with a smile, just happy to be close to Magnus once again. He couldn’t explain it other than the fact that he felt more grounded when he was near him. Clearly Magnus felt comfortable and at ease in this type of scenario whereas Alec could not be more uncomfortable. The confidence Magnus exuded soothed Alec’s frayed nerves. 

They cheered and Alec took a careful sip of his beer. He could feel the foam coating his upper lip as the bitter taste danced across his tastebuds. It wasn’t the most pleasant drink he had, but he would tolerate it because Magnus had bought it for him.

They fell into silence as each sipped their drinks until Magnus suggested a game of pool. Alec smiled at the idea, pool was something he could do, well. Picking up his cue, he quickly made work of breaking and sinking three solid balls before turned to Magnus and saying, “See that, it’s just like archery. It’s all about the aim Magnus.”

He placed up at Magnus, a smirk clear on his face, when he recognized that Magnus didn’t look like he was having nearly as much fun. 

“Who knew there were so many similarities?” He said, his eyebrows darting up to his hairline once during his statement.

Alec realized it probably wasn’t much fun to sit there and watch someone else play pool without even getting a chance to play. He didn’t want to ruin this date by being too good at pool. Lining up his next shot he made sure to miss, not so bad that it was obvious but bad enough that the ball didn’t sink into the intended corner pocket. “Can’t win them all,” he said, moving back to take another swig of his beer. It was beginning to warm up and Alec realized that he better finish it soon if he didn’t want to waste it. 

Hearing the balls rattle around on the table Alec turned back, expecting it to be his shot, only to see Magnus sink three balls in quick succession. 

“Wait, did you do your…” Alec said, moving his fingers around pretending to be like Magnus when he initiated his magic, “thing?”

“Haven’t you ever heard the saying? If you can’t find the one being hustled in the pool hall, then it’s probably you?” Magnus said with the most attractive smirk Alec had ever been privilege to witness. 

Realizing he had been played in good fun Alec smiled right back. Competition he knew, competition he was good at, he thrived in competition. 

“Okay?” Magnus asked.

“Okay,” Alec replied, “Let’s play.”

They played three more games, Alec just edging out Magnus in the last one. During the games Alec completely forgot where they were. He finished his drink without thinking about it and just enjoyed Magnus’ wonderful company. 

After sinking the final shot on their third game, Alec gravitated towards Magnus as they walked back towards the bar for another round. Conversation flowed easily between them as they walked with barely any room between them. Alec couldn’t remember the last time he had this much fun outside of the Institute, or ever for that matter. 

When they took a seat at the bar the conversation turned towards a topic of conversation Alec wasn’t that comfortable with. Although he sat closely with Magnus at the bar, they delved into his dating past, or lack there of, and Alec felt insignificant once again, especially when Magnus revealed that he had 17,000 previous lovers. Although Magnus tried to comfort him and let him know that there was nothing wrong with him and his lack of experience, Alec felt completely inexperienced and foolish next to the man next to him. 

They decided to leave shortly after that, once their drinks were finished. Magnus asked if he would like to walk or portal back and Alec had chosen to walk. Although the date had ended disastrously in his opinion, he wanted to bask in the comfort that was Magnus’ presence for as long as he could. 

Arriving back at Magnus’ loft, Alec could feel this distance between them, emotionally and physically. He wished they could go back to how they were before that terrible conversation, when they were joking and playing pool together. 

Magnus took off his jacket as Alec made a comment about how the walk home and given him time to think.

“Yeah, you must have thought a lot. You barely said a word the whole way home,” Magnus said, walking straight to the bar. He had a feeling he wasn’t going to like how this date ended. Alec had been completely freaked out by Magnus’ number and he didn’t think he would be able to get over that. 

Alec felt a chill go through his body, the warmth and comfort he had begun to associate with Magnus was disappearing as he contemplated ending whatever they had between them.

“Magnus,” Alec sighed, “you think, maybe we’re too…” he waved his arms, unsure if he wanted to use the word that was on the tip of his tongue.

“Different?” Magnus supplied.

“Yeah,” Alec responded, somberly. 

His heart was in his throat as Magnus continued, “We’re from totally different worlds.” 

“Different … centuries,” Alec continued, his heart in his stomach as he added to the conversation. His heart was beating so fast, he didn’t know how things had gone so wrong. “Look I’m…I should go,” Alec said, feeling as though he might cry and knowing he needed to leave before he did so. 

Alec turned to walk towards the door, hearing Magnus sigh behind him as he did so. Every step he took hurt, he felt torn as he walked away from the one person in his whole life who had focused on taking care of him, of making him happy. Sure he had Jace and Izzy, but both of them had their own relationships and issues that they relied on him to take care of. His parents were a mess who only cared if he was doing something to bring honor to their family name. Magnus had been the only person to seem to care just about Alec, the person.

Five steps from the door that would take him out of Magnus’ apartment and life, Alec stopped. He closed his eyes and called upon courage he wasn’t sure he had. He couldn’t let this end. He didn’t want it to end.

“Look, I don’t care how many people you’ve been with,” He said, returning to the spot he had occupied moments before.

“I don’t care how many people you haven’t been with,” Magnus replied, hopefulness filling his voice. Alec could hear him longing for something, and he hoped he knew what that was. 

Feeling brave, Alec took three fast steps forwards, meeting Magnus face to face. His heart was racing and the warmth and comfort he associated with the warlock in front of him flooded his system. 

Without giving himself a moment to back out, Alec pressed his lips against Magnus’, relief and happiness overwhelming as he felt the other man kissing him back. 

After a moment they pulled apart, but not away. “I hear a…relationships, they, um… take effort,” Alec commented, breathing in the same air Magnus was breathing out, his legs feeling like jelly. 

“I’m all for effort,” Magnus assured him. 

Alec smiled and his heart was overwhelmed with joy. He was so relieved that he hadn’t screwed this up. He never wanted to leave the comfort and warmth that Magnus provided him. Even moments later, when the door opened to reveal his parabatai looking for a place to stay, he stayed close to Magnus, close to that feeling of coming home.

~*~

In the time that passed from their first date to the present time, Alec had always found ways to be as physically close to Magnus as possible. He couldn’t help it, it was like a drug. Magnus had an aura around him that told Alec he would be taken care of and that he was important. Throughout their various dates that had occurred after, and Max’s disastrous party, Magnus was his rock and his constant.

These were the thoughts that made him smile as he sat with Magnus and enjoyed a quiet breakfast one morning. Jace had left earlier that day, saying something about tracking down a wayward Clary, and Alec ad enjoyed the one-on-one time with his boyfriend. 

Magnus leaned over to kiss Alec when the door burst open, Jace dragging a moaning Clary in behind him.

Immediately Alec felt a wave of panic. Although Clary would never be his favorite person, he felt as though he owed her a life debt for killing her mother. He had promised himself that he would look after her and protect her to the best of his ability. 

Jace called out for Magnus to help him. They sat Clary down not he couch, Jace next to her clearly wanting to hold her good hand in comfort a Magnus examined the blackened, decaying fingers. 

Alec felt nervous and out of place. He still didn’t feel as though he stood on solid ground with Clary, despite what she had tried to assure him over and over again, and whatever was happening to her was both painful and terrible.

Finding no where else to go, he found himself nestled as close to Magnus’ back without being in the way. Being this close, being enveloped with his spicy sandalwood smell, allowed Alec tot think clearly and focus on what was happening.

The blood oath was attacking Clary, they had to find Madzie.

**Author's Note:**

> So...Alec is freaking adorable. And Magnus, is just so wonderful to/for him. I wanted to show Alec realizing that Magnus is there for him, and probably cares for him more wholly than anyone else in his life. We all know his parents are absent and his siblings have been a little ego-centric during their lives. Alec will do anything for others, and now he finally has someone who will do anything for him.


End file.
